December 13, 2003

ALIENS LAND IN SAN FRANCISCO

FIRST VISITORS FROM ANOTHER WORLD DEVOURED BY SAVAGE NATIVES

Eight-Legged envoys from Planet Zwarthrob disappear on primitive planet called "Earth;" Galaxy shocked.

The arachnoid Zwarthrobians may have run afoul of a local festival called "Crab Season."

crab.jpg
This may be the last picture of the Zwarthrobian Plenipotentiary, believed eaten by Republicans...

Locals expressed no remorse over the crime, and seem to feel that the hapless space travellers have fulfilled a "higher purpose." Their cruel religion enjoins them to seize local spider-like people know as "crab," boil them alive, and eat them drenched in melted-butter. A spokesman emphasized the ritual importance of an accompaniment of dry white wine, and crusty loaves of sourdough bread.

One indigene answered the Galactic criticisms: "Hey, it's not like we're some kinda primitivos in this town. We don't cut their beating hearts out with stone knives, like some real savages I could name."

Posted by John Weidner at December 13, 2003 6:45 PM
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