That's because Democrats and other liberals know the answer: "Bring the troops home"...

That's because Democrats and other liberals know the answer: "Bring the troops home"...

"...and, since that's not going to happen and we know it, what can we do to help you and to help the troops?"

The Democrats are invested in failure. Should we bring it off in Iraq, they will burst into tears.

Miriam: Absolutely right. Of course, since "bringing it off in Iraq" would take the sort of divine intervention that had God Himself leading the heavenly hosts into "peacemaking", we'd probably be tearing up from the Radiant Brilliance of His divine aura...

..."since "bringing it off in Iraq" would take the sort of divine intervention...."

Oh Andrew, that's so 2006. You gotta do better. You're a zombie (a nice one, to be sure) but you should fake being alive. Living creatures react to changing circumstances, that's how scientists know they are alive.

I know the changes in Iraq are unpleasant for you, what with there being a small tsunami of hopeful and positive developments. But just pretending they haven't happened is bad tactics. No one will take you seriously. You must take some notice of them, as if you were really going to make an honest balanced argument.

But what you need to do is refer to them glancingly, as if they were things that people had already discussed and dismissed as unimportant. You must pretend that the argument has already taken place, and that you have already won it.

This is a tough time for your side, but you mustn't lose your head or your wits. Remember, things can change rapidly in war. One or two big truck bombs in the right spot, and you're back in the game! Until then, stall, and blow smoke...

You know, Andrew, it's funny-- the Democrats talk so much about "bringing the troops home", but the troops seem to want to stay there. The Army has little trouble meeting its recruitment and re-enlistment goals. That right there should tell you something-- the troops are voting with their very lives when they re-enlist, and re-enlist they do, in overwhelming numbers.

And remember, Andrew, no one is forced to serve, though good ol' Charlie Rangel thinks involuntary servitude in the military is just ducky and wants to bring it back.... never mind that the military is fighting that notion tooth and nail, knowing full well from bitter experience that an army of slaves is a pretty lousy one. But just try to tell that to good ol' Charlie Rangel, Democratic representative from New York City since 1970. (The man has been in the District of Confusion too long-- he needs to go home and live like the rest of us do, holding down a real job in the present day, not a make-believe job in that Shangri-La called Congress where so many think it's still the 1970s.)

And we just might "bring it off" yet in Iraq, Andrew. You don't know for certain that we can't, any more than I know for certain that we can. But both you and I know for certain that we won't "bring it off" if we cut and run.

So, do we do the courageous and honorable thing, and see the deed through to wherever it leads us? Or do we do the cowardly thing, and sell the Iraqis down the river like we sold the South Vietnamese down the river in 1974-75? I remember those days, Andrew. They will not happen again on my watch if I can help it.

So, do we do the courageous and honorable thing, and see the deed through to wherever it leads us? Or do we do the cowardly thing, and sell the Iraqis down the river like we sold the South Vietnamese down the river in 1974-75?

No, we want to do the snarky thing, and try to score political points while we think we can get away with it.

You know the old song, Big Bad John? Congress this week was like some weasely guy kidney-punching John while he was occupied with holding up the sagging timber...