November 25, 2006
"Christmas is everybody!"
Christmas is back at Wal-Mart - not that it really ever left.
After testing out a generic, yet all-inclusive, "happy holidays" theme last year, the nation's largest retailer announced this month that Christmas will dominate its seasonal marketing in the U.S. "We've learned our lesson," said Wal-Mart spokeswoman Marisa Bluestone. "This year, we're not afraid to say, 'Merry Christmas.'"
Neither are Walgreens, Target, Macy's, Kmart and Kohl's, among others. In interviews this week, spokesmen from those major retailers said that their stores acknowledge the Christmas holiday, hoping to avoid a repeat of last year's backlash led by conservative Christian groups.
Such groups often criticize the commercialization of Christmas. But in 2005, they instead railed about its dearth, taking Wal-Mart, Best Buy and others to task for not mentioning the day in their holiday advertising - dubbing it "anti-Christian and anti-Christmas bias."
Petitions were passed around, boycotts were threatened and the existence of a "secular progressive agenda" was suggested by Fox News commentator Bill O'Reilly, who complained that the political correctness police had religion on the run...[link]
'cause I'm a nice guy, I'll give you "progressives" a tip. Of course you want to destroy Christianity, it's in your philosophical genes. But getting rid of "Merry Christmas" isn't the way to do it. That just emphasizes that something's been removed. Subversion works better. The best tactic is to appeal to our egos, our desire to be the center of the universe. I suggest your new theme should be, "Christmas is you and me!" Or perhaps, "Christmas is people being special!" (And Andrew Sullivan can chime in about how "Christianists" are hijacking a holiday whose theme has always been that "doubt is the noblest of virtues.")
And tolerance is always a good wedge to help destroy morality and religion. You might emphasize the idea that Christmas is also for Moslems, Jews, Buddhists and Hindoos. "Christmas is everybody!"
Posted by John Weidner at November 25, 2006 09:27 AMChristmas is you and me!
Absolutely hilarious...
Of course, since that's what they've been trying to turn the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass into, it's unfortunately a dead-on reading of the technique...we are Eucharist, as we celebrate this communal meal...gah, and ick.
(Oops - used the italics markers from the forum I hang out on...sorry!)
Posted by: Ethan Hahn at November 25, 2006 12:29 PMI fixed it.
I'd love it if people assumed that I'm an incredibly witty and inventive writer, but those sorts of phrases are, alas, all too common in the Catholic world. Fortunately not in my little corner of it.
Posted by: John Weidner at November 25, 2006 12:59 PMWell, I know lots of pagans and atheists who celebrate Christmas -- they like everything about it, the tree, the lights, the parties, the presents -- everything except the annoying emphasis on that baby. And growing up in Miami I remember lots of "Hanukkah trees" too. And though the conservative Christian groups may have been what scared the retailers, I can assure you that I know plenty of people who are by no means conservative who were pissed off by the fun-crushing p.c.-ness behind the "cancel Christmas!" campaign.
The first thing I noticed this year in my local mall was that Sears hung up a big banner over each entrance door that spelled out "Merry Christmas" in big white letters. In retailese that means "we don't want to lose business."
Posted by: Andrea Harris at November 25, 2006 03:20 PMI'm not sure if the change really means anything, but it's worth it just to think of Dawkins and all those ACLU grinches and professional atheists suffering...
Posted by: John Weidner at November 25, 2006 03:29 PMAnother victory for Christianity!! The Salvation Army bellringers are back in front of Target and Wal-Mart (at least in my area).
Posted by: Susan McManus at November 26, 2006 10:30 AM
