Well-known...

It is of course a well known thing that ultra-conservatives like me are joyless, neo-puritanical, censorious, and close-minded.....

Lacking in joi de vivre....

Also of course terrified of change, dissent, diversity, nuance, ambiguity and French food.....

(Not to mention racist, sexist, and homophobic....)

BUT, (and this will astonish you)....

I want one of THESE....

魚骨型電源延長コード。 いよいよアメリカでも発売する グローバルスタンダードインテリア

Na-Cord Fish Cord (Original color) Fishbone-shaped electric extension cord.This cord makes a cool addition to your room or office and will soon be available in the U.S.A

[link]
(thanks to Zannah)