September 7, 2004

" That’s right Anchor Man. It is often forgotten that the Constitution has...."

The Happy Carpenter laughs ruefully at lefty complaints that FoxNews is "conservative," and falling asleep, dreams of a real conservative TV station:

3…, 2…, 1…

ON CAMERA

ANCHOR MAN: (white guy, about 50 years old, wearing a blue suit, white shirt, red tie, American flag lapel pin) Good evening America, and welcome to another edition of THE TRUTH.

ANCHOR WOMAN: (white chick, gorgeous, about 35 years old, pink suit with blue silk shirt, blonde brunette or redhead, take you pick) Our top story tonight, another liberal judge appointed by President Clinton is responsible for the slaying of a family, this time in Fresno, California.

CUT TO PICTURE OF CRAZY-LOOKING BLACK MAN (you remember Willie Horton, don’t you?)

ANCHOR WOMAN: This man, Donald Smith, was released by Judge Makesitupashegoes on a Miranda technicality. After Mr. Smith’s release, Smith got high on crack cocaine, bought an illegal gun off the streets of Fresno, and murdered the Thornton family of 1234 Maple Drive. Smith was apprehended by police at the scene.

CUT TO VIDEO TAPE OF POLICE PATROL OFFICER:
“Oh, darn it!” Gulp, fight back tears. “We caught this guy before! This didn’t have to happen! What’s the point of being a cop if Judge Makesitupashegoes is just going to let the perp’s out to steal and kill again?” Patrol officer bangs fist on hood of patrol car.
.....
ANCHOR WOMAN: Just what we need, Anchor Man: more convicted child molesters running loose on the streets. I wonder what will be next for His Honor Makesitupashegoes.

ANCHOR MAN: That’s not just a rhetorical question, Anchor Woman. Here’s a special report from our Washington Analyst Steven Donegood.

CUT TO DONEGOOD (a young, fit, clean-cut, vaguely Latino looking man in a blue suit, with an American flag lapel pin) STANDING IN FRONT OF THE US ARCHIVES BUILDING:
That’s right Anchor Man. It is often forgotten that the Constitution has checks and balances built-in for Congress to instill some sanity into the bench.

CUT TO PICTURE OF THE CONSTITUTION.
Article 2 section 4 spells it out: impeachment. If two-thirds of the senate votes aye, then any judge can be removed from office. To quote Founding Father and Supreme Court Justice Joseph Story,

“Departure from the text of the Constitution as originally understood would permit unelected and unaccountable, life-tenured federal judges to impose their personal values on the rest of us, and would ultimately result in judicial tyranny.”

Posted by John Weidner at September 7, 2004 8:14 AM
Weblog by John Weidner