August 31, 2004
Happy now, you fascist?
This scene in a bookstore is funny, and oh so true...
ME: I'm looking for Michael Moore Is a Stupid White Man.Posted by John Weidner at August 31, 2004 09:32 AM | TrackBackC: (still smiling) You mean Stupid White Men by Michael Moore . . .
M: No. Michael Moore Is a Stupid White Man. It's a new release.
C: We don't have it.
M: Are you sure? It's very popular.
C: (taciturn) Never heard of it. (Looks past me) Can I help the next person, please?
M: Excuse me, but can you check on your computer?
C: (very annoyed) Fine. (Bangs away at the keyboard. Scrolls down the screen at warp speed) No. Doesn't exist.
M: Wait — there it is.
C: (extremely annoyed) Oh . . . um . . . Yesss. We only received one copy. It's in the back.
M: Where in the back?
C: (loudly) In the political science section!
M: Thanks!
I checked out the section. The book was nowhere to be found. I walk back to the desk.
M: Pardon me, but I couldn't find it.
C: (Curses under her breath and slams her pen on the counter. Slams swinging door. Marches to the back of the store)
I could not believe what she did next. She grabs a step ladder and climbs up. The book was lying flat on the top row of books — with the spine toward the back so you couldn't see the title. She grabs the book, climbs down, slams it into my chest. Her face is beet red and she screams: "HERE!!! ARE YOU HAPPY NOW, YOU FRIGGIN' FASCIST!??!"
I was shocked, Mr. Nordlinger. This wasn't a mom-'n'-pop outfit. It's one of the largest booksellers in the Northeast that aren't Barnes & Noble.
So I figured, Okay, time for some Brooklyn diplomacy. I walked up to the counter again.
ME: Excuse me: Do you have Treason by Ann Coulter? In the bestseller section? I couldn't find it . . .
That little chickee's due for a firing...
No, really. My general manager - who I'm pretty sure works for the same outfit - would have that clerk off the floor in a heartbeat. Even if he agreed with her. Because he understands the #1 rule of bookselling, which is YOU GET THE CUSTOMER WHAT THEY WANT.
Because that's how you make money. Heck, when someone asks for a book that *I* disagree with idealogically, I usually suggest another, because I want them to spend as much money as possible.
And you never, ever, EVER be rude to the customer. I think this lady should fire off a letter to the store and CC it to the district manager, emphasizing the rude behavior. (Normally, I'd say to just contact the store, but if this clerk doesn't know better there's a good chance it could get ignored.)
Posted by: B. Durbin at August 31, 2004 02:35 PMI’m trying to come up with the scenario under which I call a customer I’ve never met before a “friggin’ fascist” and don’t get reprimanded-- if not fired-- on the spot...
Hell, I manage to bite my tongue every time someone _asks_ for my _opinion_ of the Swift Boats Vet’s book. Indeed, my whole store is learning finer and finer diplomatic skills so that we’re not screamed at (again) for the publisher’s not having printed enough copies of the book...
Anyway, why you should shop at Barnes and Noble: if we don’t walk you out to the section and put the book in your hand-- or offer to order it if it isn’t in stock-- we’re in trouble...
BTW: speaking of books.
You may be interested...
I went to a local bookstore recently. It's not a major chain, but it's a big bookstore. I stopped by the political section. A few bookshelves had signs on them that said "Bush'd" and were filled with the typical frothing at the mouth diatribes against Bush. I figured, allright, whatever, I guess there's a market for that sort of thing. There were a few mainstream conservative type books, but the selection was somewhat paltry (especially compared to the Bush'd section).
Then an older gentleman wearing a NAVY hat approached me:
Him: Have you seen "Unfit for Command" anywhere?
Me: Nope, sorry.
H: Have you read it? You should.
M: No, but I've heard all about it. Judging from these shelves, I don't think they'd have that here.
H: Yeah.
M (grinning): Maybe you could ask someone who works here where it is?
H (sarcastically): Yeah, right.
He then gave me a funny little knowing look. I laughed and wished him good luck and a nice afternoon. He grinned and headed for the exit. A funny moment.
Posted by: Mark at September 4, 2004 11:05 AM
